RUSTY PIPES

I spoke last week about, the female problems that I've been having. I went to "THE LADY DOCTOR" today. Better known as, the OB/GYN. It was confirmed, the Endometriosis is back. There is also the possibility of systs om my ovarys. I'll know for sure, when I get the Ultrasound that they ordered. She, the Doctor informed me that, when you have Endometriosis it never goes away. My Son is almost 12 years old, and it hasn't bothered me again until now. She discussed a complete Hysterectomy. She said that, a Hysterectomy was the only 100% for sure cure for, the Endometriosis to go away forever. I said no to that surgery. I'm only 35 years old. I'm not ready to give up the Uterous yet. My Husband had a vasectomy in 1998, but you never know what the future my fortell. I don't want any more children this late in the game. It's just the whole idea of, someone else taking away my ability to make that decision.

She offered me several possibilitys to cure me. She suggested the Hysterectomy, the Depoprovera shot, Birth Control, the IUD, and lasering off the scar tissue. I'm choosing to go with, the laser and the Birth Control. She said that, by lasering off the scar tissue, it would buy me some time until I decide that I want the Hysterectomy. Who in their right mind, would want to go on hormone at 35 years old? Again, the Birth Control will slow down the growth of the Endometriosis. Although, I may end up having the Hysterectomy after all if, there is more damage inside. There could be a lot of systs, or scar tissue. I'll find that out when, I go for the Ultra Sound. I'm finding that, the female body is both disgusting and complicated.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN YA'll!

My Husband and I, at a Luau in July.

NEVER CAN SAY GOODBYE

Last night our family, my parents, and some old friends went to dinner. The intent was, one last get together. A couple, who are very close friends, are moving back to Indiana today. Uncle R.'s health has suffered greatly this year. They decided to retun to, what was once home. It still remains home for their family. They are not only friends, they are more like family. Over the last twenty-one years, they have came to be known as Aunt S. and Uncle R.. Our son's even call them their Aunt S. and Uncle R. This couple got transferred to Oklahoma with us in 1984. Our family, and hundreds of others. My parents, and many of their friends worked for either Western Electric, or Indiana Bell. Both of those companys closed, and the merged into AT&T You either transferred to one of the three locations that they offered, or you didn't have a job. To my dismay, my family and I found ourselves living on the other side of the country. As you can imagine, I was tramatized. It may as well have been Mars. I was only 14 years old at the time.

I had lived in the same house, and had the same friends all of my life. I seriously wanted to curl up and die. This rebellion of not wanting to be in Oklahoma, led me down a rough road. Many years of bad grades, and misbehavior. My grades were so bad. I spent an extra year in High School, just to graduate one year late. However, my younger brother never graduated from out actual High School at all. Everyone that we knew who had moved down here, took it very badly. We had to leave everyone, and everything that we had ever known. I can remember my Mom crying. She didn't even know how to get out of the neighborhood, in which we lived at that time. New state, new house, new neighbors, new friends, new schools. That was horrible. I don't wish that on anyone. I'm glad that, I have never put my son through anything like that.

Back to the story. Aunt S. and Uncle R. ended up buying the house across the street from us. That became my place to go, when I just needed to vent or talk. They only lived there for about five years. Although, I cherished every single year. My parents and I missed them terribly, when they moved to the next town over. Strangly enough, we all ended up moving to that same town. The same town, in which we all reside in to this day. It's home now, and I guess that we'll stay here. I make jokes that, they will probably have to carry us out of here feet first. I'm tired of moving, and don't plan on going anywhere. Well, atleast until the kids are grown. Never-the-less, we all knew what was going to happen after dinner.

It was going to be very sad. We all cried, but didn't say goodbye. My Mom told Aunt S. that she wasn't going to say goodbye. We'll just see you later. We will see them later. We have a family reunion to go to in Indianapolis next July. In reflection, it's always sad to see the ones you love, move away. Although, it is what they had to do. Again, Uncle R.'s health has been in poor condition this past year. You need your family to lean on, when things get rough. In tears, I'll see ya'll soon.

ORANGE WITH ENVY

Saturday happens to be the date, of the annual fight between my Husband and I. Last year was a doozy. It almost lead to a divorce. Atleast once a year, he leaves me home with the kids. Let me explain when I say, leaves me home with the kids. We are a blended family. We only have all three of the boys together, every other weekend. The weekends inbetween, they are with their other parents. He doesn't purposely plan on going to Football games on our weekends, it just happens that way. So far, this will be the second Oklahoma State Football game that he's attended this season. Both landed on our weekends. I understand that, he loves Football. I honestly don't enjoy it. I also realize that, he needs, his guy time. Time to scratch himself, drink beer, smoke, check out women, pass gas, eat fattening food, and cheer for his team. I'm not stupid, nor am I completely selfish. I even had an opportunity, to go this time if I wanted. Heck, I've had an opportunity to go every time. Once again, I took a pass on tagging along.

Let's be realistic, I know when I'm truly not wanted. Again, if it's the least bit cold, I'm not going. One hundred pound women, don't stay very warm. I don't have any meat on my bones. I suppose that, I'll be ok with the kids by myself. I'll find things to do, and I'll be fine. I am fully capable of taking care of children. That's what I do best. Besides, the oldest is going with my husband. That only leaves me with two kids to take care of. Hey... one of them is going with him? That means, he'll have to behave himself. I never thought of it that way. He'll have to be somewhat responsible. He won't make a complete Ass of himself, in front of our kid. Again, the neighbor is going to. It's all good, I'm just jealous. Well, I need to get busy. Go Pokes! Catch ya'll some other time.

OLD PLUMBING

I am now in my Mid Thirtys, and can plainly see Fourty in the distance. In just the last week or so, I've come to a new conclusion. My Old, Female Organs, are on the fritz again. It seems that, once again I'm in a lot of pain. Not to worry though, I hope. I've been down this road before. I suffered from Endometriosis previously, in 1990. The symptoms are exactly the same. Although, that was 15 years ago. Unlike a lot of women, it didn't effect my ability to have children. My son will be 12 years old in March. However, this could be all together different this time. It could be something else. Something a lot more serious, and scarier. I found myself on the phone yesterday, consulting with two of my female friends. I have to find a new O.B/GYN. Honestly, this is something that can't be ignored. Married women, in a monogomus relationship don't seem to stay on top of getting their yearly exams. I am, one who is truly guilty of this. It hasn't been that important becasue, my Husband had a vasectomy in 1998. Which also meant that, I didn't need Birth Control anymore. That and, my child bearing years are long gone.

Not because I can't have any more children. It's just that, I chose not after I turned 30 years old. I had made this conscious decision a long time ago. Whatever children that I had had given birth to at 30, was going to be all of the children that I had. Also divorce, tends to make those decisions for you that way. Again, be careful what you wish for. When I was much younger and in my first marriage, I decided that I wanted three boys. Well, I got three boys. I just didn't give birth to all three of them. I tell everyone that, I had one son, and acquired two more. Two more meaning, my Step- Sons. Almost all of the glory, and no stretch marks. I'm sure that their Mother would appreciate that. Seriously, that poor women must look like a road map. She's had two more children since then. That's disgusting, I don't want to think about that. Although, to each his own.

So today, I'll be on the phone. Deciding who I will place in chrage of my Uterous and all that entails. I know... a little too much information. Although, that's exactly what today's post was. Too much information. Maybe you should have skipped ahead to the next Blog. Not exactly what you wanted to be reading about while drinking your coffee huh? Never-the-less, that seems to be my life's theme. Nothing that you want to discuss at the dinner table. That's just life my friend! It's just simply gross at times. Well actually... most of the time. Then when you add the whole female aspect to it. Well, I'm not even going to get into all of that this early. You get the gist? So... I'll keep ya'll posted.

I DO... I DO... THEY DID

Yesterday evening at 6:00 P.M., my husband and I attended a Wedding. It was the marriage between the Son and now new Daughter-In-Law, of the couple who lives next door. It was a very beautiful and touching ceremony. So much so that, the Groom started crying as his Bride-To-Be walked down the isle. This soon triggered a domino effect. It started with Groom, then spread over all that were there. It was so sweet, that it even made me cry. I must be getting old. Things like that never use to make me cry. Things like, joy I mean. I'll be the first to say that, from the beginning I felt that this marriage would never last. Again, these kids are only 21 and 23 years old. Although, something in my Husband and I changed. It was a sense of joy, and hope. A feeling that, this might very well last. For their sake, I hope that it does. This is a cruel, and temptuous world that we live in.

Never-the-less, the Wedding Ceremony went off without a hitch. The reception turned out to be, about the funnyest thing that I've ever been apart of. They had hired a women to run Kareoke. I'm telling you, most of the singing was so bad that, I had to go outside. If I sounded that bad and knew it, I would never sing in public if my life depended on it. I'd probably kick my own ass if I ever did that. Or so I thought. I'll explain that a little later. So... my husband, and the Groom's friends and family got an idea. They decided to make one another sing songs that females sing. Such examples of these horrible acts included, #1. Stand By You're Man, #2. It's My Party ( And I'll Cry If I Want To), #3. Total Eclipse Of The Heart, and #4. Barbie Girl. They thought that, they were going to have my husband and I sing "One Hand In My Pocket." Well, that didn't go over very well. I certainly hadn't had enough to drink. I had even said earlier in the evening to the Groom's Mother that, "There isn't enough alcohol is that bar, to make me ever do that." Get in front of people and sing off key. No way, no how.

So, a couple of verses into our song, I walked off of the stage. Leaving my Husband to continue the song. It was so embarrassing. My face got red, I couldn't look at anyone, and I broke out in a cold sweat. I can talk to a rock, but can never do anything like that. I dearly love my Husband but, he can't carry a tune in a bucket. The good thing is that, he knows it. Thankfully, the rest of his Partners In Crime, helped him out by singing the rest of the song with him. It was the worst, but funnyest thing that I had ever heard. He had already stated to one of his cronies that, "Paybacks are Hell." "They will probably pick out a bad sone for us to sing too." Poof... You're wish is my command! The reception ended about 10:00 P.M. The remaining party- goers headed off for the Hotel bar. Well... that was a mistake!

We should have got into our truck, right then and there and went home. But no... it was too early to go home. I agreed with everyone, it sounded like a good idea. Several hours, cigaretts, and drinks later, I did the impossible. I actually sang Kareoke. I had too, the Groom was butchering "our song." He had dedicated "Hello", by Kenny Chesney to his new wife. That song just happens to be mine and my Husband's song. With my prior liquid courage ingested, I made a mad dash for the second microphone. I had to help the groom, and save "our song." I soon got the Groom back on key by harmonizingwith him. I guess it wasn't that bad, we got an round of applause after the song was over. Never in a million years, did I ever think that I would do that. Much less, ever admitt it to anyone. The "too many drinks" was the result of the Bride's Brother's generous, festive, nature. The long story short, we got home in one piece about 3:30 A.M. Again, I'm glad that we went, and had a wonderful time. See ya'll soon.

SHE'S STILL HERE

I wonder, how many of us truly believe in guardian angles? Do they really exist? Are they honestly watching over us? I must tell you that, my husband and I have one. It's his mother, who passed away over 30 years ago. From his childhood storys, he tells me of situations where she was around. When he was sick in bed with a high fever, or in a car accident where he shouldn't have lived. Or where, she came into over room, then soon vanished. Keep in mind that I personally, can never see her. I'm not gifted like the rest of his family. My husband's family, are those who have the abilities of Medium, Clairavoyant, and a Sensitive. You're probably thinking, what a Wack-O? With these abilities, they seem to be stronger with each generation. Four generations so far, were either blessed or cursed. Just depending on how, you want to look at it. Every one of them they I've spoken with, can tell me atleast one story. A story that, the average person wouldn't or couldn't be able to tell. That's the other downfall to, all of these abilities. You have to be very carfeul who you tell.

I'm suprised that I'm even telling all of you. You're probably thinking by now, that I'm crazy and have watched too much TV. However, today's post stemms from, information regarding my late Mother-In-Law's death. Keep in mind, I never met my late Mother-In-Law, she died when I was about two & 1/2 years old. My husband had just turned six years old, two months before she died. So, he really never knew her either. Although, I honestly wish that I would have had the honor of knowing her. Never-the-less, I feel some deep connection to her. Maybe, it's the pictures that I have found for my husband. The ones that I now display for everyone to see. I'm sure that, I think about her more then my husband does. I'm just simply intrigued with, the mystery of her unsolved homicide. If you've watched TV lately, they are now calling them Cold Cases.

Just Monday, I recievd some new information in the mail about her death. The information came from a Research Librarain. This particular librarian, gave me a new direction to obtain further information. All my husband had to do was, just mail in a written request for it. That of which, he mailed this very morning. So at last, if she's truly our guardian angle. She may help us in putting to rest, all of these unanswered questions. I hope that, she wants to give her son and family a sense of peace. My husband has said just lately that, he would like to find out just who was responsible for her death. Again, the police never found out who did it. Never-the-less, in the days to come, I will be on the edege of my seat. I'll be waiting on the Mail Lady. I can't wait to find out what she will bring me. So...if you have similar storys, I would very much like to hear from you. See ya'll later.

FALL FELL

This was my futile attempt, to take a cute picture of, all three of my dogs yesterday. As you can tell, no one was interested. The Shar Pei was disgusted, and I think that the Bulldog and Boxer needed a nap. The Boxer puppy woke up for a minute, and I managed to take this picture. So that's it! Happy Fall Ya'll!

HOW TRASHY

Over three years ago, my family and I moved into our home. It's a nice, newer neighborhood. One of which, we're proud to live in. Especially when, we paid this six year old house off last year. However, for the past three years we have also been the victims of noisy, inconsideration. Atleast twice a week, we are awoken to the sound of crashing, commerical trash containers. The trash men, aren't very concerned about how quiet they are, when they return the containers to the ground. We're not talking about those little, tiny metal trash cans. It's those containers, that are the size of a small semi truck trailers. This all happens before 6:00 A.M..My Husband and I have complained to the city that we live in, more time then we care to mention.

Although, today, all of this is going to come to "a crashing end!" Later on today, the trash is going to hit the preverbial fan! After we take our morning nap, my husband and I are going to cut loose on our fair city. It's my husbands day off. We've got to have a little quiet time together this morning. Napping is our morning preference. As I've said before, we live in a quiet, small, semi-suburban, farm-like town. Noise, wasn't in the cards when we moved out here. Or, so I thought. Like I said, today all of that is going to change. Visit me later, I'll tell you how it ends. See ya'll after my nap.

YOU LIE LIKE A RUG, I THINK

I've already got a little grief from this, so I toned it down some. Don't kill the messenger, just learn from the message. So guys, don't come down too hard on me... please. I told you all the other day about, the BACHELOR PARTY, and how proud I was of my husband's behavior. It turns out that, all was not as it seemed. Yesterday was, the normal Sunday, Flag Football game. All of the men and women, were talking about how much fun they had at both partys. You know, the Bachelor and Bachelorette party. The Bachelorette party, which I chose to bow out of for the sake of ou kids. So that, I wouldn't have to leave them with my parents, on our weekend with all three of our sons. We are a blended family, so all three don't live with us. It just so happens that, The- Groom-To-Be, let the big, fat, hairy, smelly, cat out of the bag. He said something to my brother like, well "atleast you showed up for the good part, you know the Strip Club." Which means that, I quickly put two and two together. It was all I could do, but not to say "what the h***?" Are you confused? You soon won't be. Remember my husband was in attendence at this party? Yes, this means that he tagged along. What I thought was, an innocent Poker game and such, turned out to be something entirely different.

A few minutes later, I made my way over to my husband. He was milling around, talking to his players, and waiting for the game to start. I say, "do you have something to tell me?" He says, "No." I repeated myself and added "about Friday night?" He says, "No" again. I say, "what about the Strip Club?" He said, "do you remember Friday night when I came in?" I say, "yes." He said, "you asked me even if there had been a stripper at the party, that I wouldn't have told you?" I responded, "you went to a Strip Club?" He says, "Yes... so what?" I thinking, SO WHAT? SO WHAT? And... Is that all you have to say? I tell him, well... "you could have said something." He says, "it wasn't that big of a deal." So, I decided to deal with this later. Thankfully, I was too interested in the Football Game to be that mad. By the way they lost...again!

So dinner, just to vent, I explain the whole thing to our #2 son. He's very intelligent and undertstanding for his age. Not to mention the fact that, he's an honors studnet and quite articulate. Besides, kids hear more and know more, then we give them credit for in the first place. Life itself is a lesson, so why not let them learn from others mistakes? I'm the kind of Mom who gives it to you straight. Life is too short to, dance around the truth. It's a cruel world that we live in. I explain to him how mad at the moment, that I am at his Dad. In his little kid rationale; he gives me a wide-eyed smirk, and shakes his head in disapprovment. You know the one, "man are you in trouble, and I'm glad it's not me?" Both my husband and my kids know me. When I verbally express how mad I am about something, "you damn well better believe it." If I'm mad enough to say something about a situation, then "the POO POO may just hit the fan." So... if you don't want to get hit with any of" it", you may need to go somewhere far, far, away from me.

Anyway, dinner was over, and I had already finished, and rinsed my plate. My husband, walks by me in the kitchen, and I give him the EVIL EYE. I know... childish, but subtle. He says, "what?" I say... "nothing?" Then, I go outside on the front porch to have a smoke. A minute later, he is out there to join me. I'll spare you the whole conversation. The point that I was trying to make to him was, "if you're going to act like an idiot and do stupid things, then make sure that you're dumb friends keep their mouths shut." It's called, C.Y.A, better known as COVER YOUR A**! Makes perfect sense to me... right? I then explaing to him, how much of a moron I felt. For thinking that, he was doing exactly what he said they did. I'm sure that, it's just how I found out that bothers me the most. An apparent unplanned event on his friends behalf. Then I say, "all you had to do was just tell me about the Strip Club two days ago, then we wouldn't be having this conversation right now." It really shouldn't be that big of a deal. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not insecure about him going. Hey, I think that I'm a cute girl! You know, Girl-Next-Door cute? I'm 35 years old, 5'4, 100 pounds even, blonde hair and blue eyes. I know all of you don't believe that, but I've been 100 pounds soaking wet since I was 15 years old.

The bottom line is, we discussed this about 5 or 6 years ago. I don't ask much of him, and I that,"all I DO ask is" that, he stay out of the Strip Clubs. It's a matter of respect, and an understanding that I thought that we have made a long time ago. I'm completely sure that, it was a harmless situation. He was going in support of his friend. Don't worry, I have given it some thought, and... the benefit of the doubt. It just hurt my feelings though. He tried to smooth things over by telling me that, your Borther and I were commenting how fat they all were. Sure... they all were fat. Come on man... I'm not stupid, nor do I buy that for a minute. He says, "Really!" The fat ones, which were most of them, had to have Boob Jobs to compensate for their big bellys." Whatever~! So... the moral of my storys is. ! If you're going to do something that, you're significant other wouldn't approve of. Then, make sure that you're friends keep their mouths closed! Besides... you have to live with you're conscious anyway. Even if, you are innocent. There is always guilt by association. Ya'll have a good day anyway!

BOXERS OR BRIEFS

One day this week, I was sitting on my front porch. I was having my usual morning smoke, and drinking my coffee. I do this every school morning. I wait on the porch, and make sure that no one grabs my son, or the two girls from three doors down. I made this arrangement with their Mom over three years ago. She can go on to work, and I wait for the school bus to pick them all up. Not that "they" need me to anymore, they're much bigger now. I just mainly do it to protect my son. So what that he's 11, amlost 12! There are perverts all over, who don't discriminate. Anyway, everyday I'm dressed in my usual normal morning attire. My cotton gown, and my what once was, a Forrest Green, heavy Terry Cloth bath robe, that's like 16 years old. Pretty sexy huh? Shut up! I'm 35 years old, married and have three 1/2 grown sons. I'm not interested in being a Sex Kitten anymore. Anymore, who am I kidding? I just want to stay warm, and get a good nights sleep. So... get over yourself. Hey, atleast I have the common decency to cover all of my BIDNESS up.

So anyway, about a month ago, some new retirees moved in on the corner. I'm such a piece of crap neighbor that, I haven't even spoken to them yet. They seem pretty busy, and to themselves. So, that will be the excuse that I'm using. Well, I was sitting there, minding my own business when out of the side garage door pops Gramps. He was wearing a Wife Beater T- shirt, and some baggy Boxer underwear. I don't have to remind you that, when men get older, their great, muscular shoulders fall into the bellys. My Dad is 71, and looks pretty much looks the same. It's ok with me, I don't have to look at him without a shirt on. Ok... that was groos. You know, neighbor Gramps wasn't actually the first thing that I wanted to see that particular morning. I put my hand over my mouth, and made that almost vomit sound. You know, the HERP? Never-the-less, he was gone in an instant. Just outside long enough to put his trash in the dumpster. Just there long enough, for me too get a good look at OLD MAN MCBAGGY BRITCHES in almost all of his glory.

So, there's my story for the day. Reminding you to, cover up when you're out on the front porch and not properly dressed. Also, no one wants to see your BUTT CRACK, when you're bending over getting the newspaper out of the drive way either!
Put on a robe or something! For Heaven's Sake! Catch ya'll tomorrow!

NO SINGLES NO STRIPPERS

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a Bridal Shower. She's my next door nieghbors, son's fionce'. Both the Bachelor and Bachelorette partys were last night. Our family is a "blended one." So, I chose to play "I'm sorry, but I have the kids card." We have all three of the boys, every other weekend. That seems to be, "the only" positive thing about going through a divorce. You have a minnie vacation away from the kids twice a month. Not that, I hate my kids or anything. They're actually pretty cool little people. Well... not so little any more. But I digress... Anyway, my Husband decided to go to the Bachelor party. The Groom-To-Be, is really a sweet, but goofy kid. I say kid becasue, anyone younger then me, is a kid. He's 21 by the way. I guess that he would be a kid in anyone's book though, right? My husband, has been sort of an Uncle to him for the past 2 & 1/2 years, since we've lived next door.

Ten years ago, I would have thrown a huge "WING DING" about any kind of Y Chromsome based party. I'm older now, and "somewhat more mellow." That and, I'm not "the complete" insecure "Control Freak" that I once was. It probably has something else to do with the fact that, my former husband was an untrustworthy DOG. He's an ok Dad, but a piece of crap Husband. We're still on the fence somedays about, just who is the parent in the relationship between my former husband and my son. After all, I honestly believe that, they are the smae age maturity wise. Meaning that, they both act like little boys most of the time. Well... that's not fair to my son. So... back to the story. The party was held in a renovated, redecorated barn/out building the next town over. Sounds like a blast to me! Yeah...whatever! My husband told me that, it was actually kind of neat. It had a pool table, card table, and dart board inside. It still, sounds like a "Yon-A-Thon" to me. Again, whatever blows your skirt up!

Never-the-less, my husband said that he was glad that he went. Only a few people showed up, and the Groom-To-Be was so glad when my husband got there. In fact, my husband said that his face light up when he came in. Aaaawwww... isn't that sweet? Seriously, my husband is a pretty funny guy, and a really good time. I guess that, only seven or so guys showed up. No to mention that, it was a pretty uneventful evening. Hey, I'm cool with uneventful beer drinking, where everybody keeps their cloths on. Apparently, my Brother showed up much later as well. The more the merrier I guess. My husband finally made it home around 1:00 A.M., and not intoxicated either. Hey, my "Husband Home Training" is finally soaking in. I've been working on this guy for almost seven years. My teachings better be getting through that thick head of his. I'm kidding, he's a good boy. I asked him, "you wouldn't tell me even if there had been a stripper there, would you?" He said no, "probably not." Although, I'm getting the vibe that there wasn't. So... ok... I was worried that he was being a bad boy. My husband said, "not to worry, I guess that I just love you too much." Now that's love for you! Bottom line is, everyone kept their clothes on, and their singles in their pockets. Right On! Catch Ya'll some other day!

THE MIDDLE CHILD

As you may have read in my previous posts, I now have three dogs. We've had our Shar Pei named Maverick for a very long time. We got him for #2 son's second Birthday. He went for about 8 years, being an only child. Being an only child seemed to fit his personality, which is a lot Eore from Winnie The Pooh. He wasn't very needy, and came over to get a pet when he wanted one. About a year and 1/2 ago, my husband brought home our 22 month old "Demon Child." His name was Winston. A very stubborn, gassy, snorty, chubby Bulldog who needed a better home. His owners were moving to their new property, which had a lot of land on it. Bulldogs are a very non-sporting bread, and don't need or like much exercise. Winston is a compact, muscley, selfish, little character. Completely opposite his older brother Maverick. Ok... so they're not really brothers, but in the grand scheme of things we're all related. Especially, if live live in the same house.

This past July, mu husband brought home our two month old Boxer puppy. He had seen him and his siblings right after they were born, and liked him very much. The Breeders have a business on my husband's mail route. There were only two males out of the litter, my brother has the other one. The couple had decided to keep this (our) puppy in the beginning. Then, later decided that four dogs was too many. This included, his Mother, Father, Sister, and the last male puppy. After they decided the four dogs was in fact too many, my huband told them that he would like to have him. So, here were are in October, and three dogs later. My parents have decided that, we are indeed nuts to have three big dogs. Yeah probably, but what can you say? Hey... Ok, I'm back somebody just pooped in my entry way. Dang it! I thought that this little guy was fully potty trained by now. Cum Own Neh (Come On Now)! Whatever! I don't want to know why! Yes, they've been out, twice this morning so far!

By the way, I forgot to tell you that, my husband named him Tigger. The name is very fitting. I knew nothing about Boxers but, apparently they are very energetic and.... SPRINGY! Hence, the name Tigger. Back to the subject at hand, our middle child Winston. When my husband brought him home to live with us, he made the transition with ease. Although, when he brought Tigger home, that was another story. He was very glad to have a new, younger playmate. But...it seems as though, Winston is now confused and has issues. Ok, before I tell you this, please... Blog Administrators don't kick me out. Ok...here it is. I spend all day saying "Stop Humping Your Brother!" It seems as though Winston is till trying to dominate his younger brother Tigger. Younger, but not smaller. Yes, he's trys to mount him "All" of the time . I found out about this sort of thing years ago, when Maverick was trying to hump our #2. son. The vet told me that it isn't always of a sexual nature. In most cases it's about dominance.

This just cracks our three boys up. Ok... so they're a little demented too. They usually say GROOO....SE, and then fall down laughing. This is follwed by a swat to Winston's behind. Winston does not like summer time. It's very easy to whip off your Flip Flop, and whack him in the behind with it when he does this. The bottom line is, I need to find Winston a girlfriend. He still has, all of his "man parts." Maybe, this would put an end to his "humping- his- brother" business. Well, that's my disgusting story for the day. Catch ya'll later on!

SAY CHEESE

This morning, I helped my 11 year old son style his hair. Ok... so I still help him do that. I don't want him to look like a dork. I'm a child of the 80's, so I can get that hair to stay in one position all freaking day! Where's the STIFF STUFF when you need it. When I was in High School, Stiff Stuff was literally, a liguid wax hair product in a spray bottle. I wonder if they still make that stuff? I wish that, my Mom would have helped me when I was a kid. We could have skipped atleast a couple of those stupid grade school pictures. Well... maybe not. I might have had some awesome big, tall hair though. Yes, today is picture day. He nearly forgot about it. I just happed to ask last night, "so when do you take school pictures?" Ahhhh... tomorrow? Then he kindly handed me the order form. I wonder how much money I've spent, in school pictures X's three kids over the years. Good thing that, I had already ironed him a cute, new shirt that he had never worn. Yes... I still iron my kids shirts every evening, and yes... they still let me. So, I'm going to do it, as long as they let me.

Here's my Beef, you "Perfect Parents!" Don't ever get retakes! Unless, the pictures truly bad. After all, kids need atleast one bad school picture. I can't count how many times, my Step-Son's Mom wouldn't order pictures for the 9 year old, becasuse they were bad. So what, he's a cute, but goofy little kid anyway. Who knows, he's probably our Swan. You know, the one who grows up to be a drop dead georgious man. After all, he is my husband's son. Here's another bit of advice. By all means, hang all of those school pictures up. Make a gallery if you have the room. Naked bath tub pictures aren't enough! Those are in the Baby book anyway. You'll need something to embarrass them with, so that their friends and dates can see them. I know what you're probably thinking, "what a terrible Mother she must be?" Nope, that's just our jobs as parents. To remind them that they were wierd little kids once. Also, to knock them down a peg or two when they get too big for their britches. Ladies, you will one day find yourself looking up at your son's, threatening to beat the crap out of them for whatever reason. Hey, my Mom did. My younger brother is now 6'4 as a grown man. It can happen!

So I said to my son before he headed out the door for the bus. "Let me give you one more shot before you leave." Meaning another application of hair spray, just for security purposes. He said "that was more then a shot Mom." I said I know, and don't let anybody touch it! "I won't, he said." I could also tell that it was picture day because, I saw the girls from three doors down. They were trying to walk to our bus stop but, their necks were broken. I mean, neither one of them would move their head, in hopes that the wind wouldn't mess up their hair. Oh... I remember those days. Now days, I'm just happy that I get a shower every day. Remember when they were babys? Showers wern't a daily option. So..I need to lay back down for a while. Catch ya'll later.

Note: If you would like to stop by a read a while that's great. If you would like to leave a comment, by all means do so. But please.... Stop leaving your Web Hosting Crap on my Blog!

SWEPT UNDER THE ADOPTION RUG

I'm usually not a two posts a day type of girl, but today I'm a little disgusted. Here's the long story short. Several weeks ago, I sent the forms requesting both the identifying and non-identifying birth information. I sent these forms to Indiana, the state of my birth. This whole process seems to be taking forever. I also ran across the "Family History Medical Information Form." Yeah...there's a form for that too. In laymens terms, this tells you if you've got something life threatening. For instance,something fatal that you could drop dead from at any given minute. Seriously, this form is to request the Family, Medical History Information of both your birth parents. This information should be volunteered. I guess, in a sense it was. My Mom tells me that, no one knew of any family deseases. Well... isn't that comforting? Even more so because, I have an 11 year old son. The last time I checked, I peed in his gene pool too. You get my meaning, I hope? Ok...I know that my adoption was 35 years ago. It looks like there should have been a more fool-proof way, to provide this information to perspevtive adoptive parents. Let me know if you feel my pain? I'd like to hear your storys as well.

DEAD BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

My husband and I have been married nearly six years. As you may have read on my profile, genealogy is one of my hobbies. In these last six years, I have been on a search for any paper trail I could find regarding his Mother. I just thought that if I found some tangible evidence of her existence, that it would give him a little sense of peace. That and, put to rest my own quriousity. It's a sad story, and one which will never be forgotten. At the age of 30 in November 1972, his mother was murdered in her apartment. This tragedy ocurred in Chelsea Massachusetts. Sadly, my husband was only six years old at this time. Fortunately, he was already living here in Oklahoma with his Father, Sister, Step-Monster, and Half Sister.

Some might say that this was a terrible thing to lose a parent at such a young age. I happen to think just the opposite. What you can't remember won't hurt you. He honestly hs no memories of her. That in itself is sad, but I truly believe that the brain has it's own self defense mechanism. Mental self preservation, one might say. Sometimes, we just have to compartmentalize the painful situations in our lives, just to get by. In other words, we will deal with them, when we will deal with them. It may be tomorrow, or it may be never. I'm starting to believe that, the sircumstances behind her brief life and death are turning into an obsession with me. The reason being is because, I am an adult adoptee.

Don't get me wrong, I' have wonderful parents, and have had a great life. I'm not one of those people who wish to reunite with their bith family. My life is very peaceful, and I want it to stay that way. I guess that, if I can't solve my own life's mystery, then I will try and solve my husband's. Even though, he can't remember her. I just feel like, I would be doing anything and everything to find out all I could about her. To make my search even more complicated, she was an orphaned as an infant. My husband and his parents are fortunately estranged now. Yes, I said fortunately. It's much easier for him this way. Too many painful years of, growing up with unsupportive and damaged parents.

So my paper trial grows even colder. Here's my plea. If there is anyone out there, who is a much better genealogy detective then me, I could use your help. I would very much appreciate it. Again, I'm sorry about the depressing story. Have a great day ya'll.

SHOW ME THE MONEY

If you have visited my Blog, then you'll know that I've only been writing for a couple of weeks. It's been very cleansing so far, and gives me a format to express myself. Even if no one seems to visit my site, or comment. I guess that's ok though, if you had anything to say, you would have. No news is good news right? My point being, I've enjoyed writing since I was a little girl. It has been my strong suite in school, and I've always seemed to make good grades doing it. I was on the High School newspaper. Can't remember getting anything published though. I don't really have any secondary education in writing, just college english classes. Does writing college papers for a former boyfriend count? What about important documents for my Dad when he needs them?

The Bottom line is, I would enjoy writng professionally, like for a Newspaper or a magazine. Maybe my unsolicited opinions might be boaring? You never can tell. I would just like to give it a shot. So... if anyone in the journalism field is ever paying attention, let me know. I'd really like to get paid for what I love to do. Even if you don't know a thing about what I'm talking about, stop by to say hi. Have a good day ya'll!

THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN

Yesterday, was a beautiful Fall afternoon. The sun on my face, and the scent of Fall in the air. Or... is that sweat that I smell? I'm talking about, my husband and his funky friends. That's right, it's Flag Football season again. There's nothing like wathing a bunch of out of shape couch potatos, trying to play sports. My younger brother being included in that bunch. I'm not talking about all of them, just a few. We have a wide age group here, from 16 to 42 years old. My husband being on the end of that. Although, not the very tale end, and that's what's important. Not all wives can say this, but I enjoy watching my Husband play sports. You'd think that after nearly seven years together, I'd be sick of going to all of those games. To be honest, "It makes me hotter than Georgia asphalt." Hey, my Husband is the total package, he's attractive and very athletic. He's also in his late 30's, so his head is not completely up his butt. I married up this time.

If I had to describe my husband, he looks like a combination of the following: Tim McGraw (Country Singer), and an older Orlando Bloom (The Actor). Ok...enough about my husband. We, the other women and I enjoyed the one hour ball game. It's quite comedic actually. From the goofy expressions on their faces, to the play that got screwed up. Did I tell you that my husband is also the coach? Which means, that I get to hear what went wrong for the next two days. I know that it's only reckreation Flag Football. Although, no matter what sport is it, my husband always takes it seriously. He's just too competitive that way. A trait that he has managed to pass along to our three sons.

I forgot to tell you, about the opposing team that they played. I'm just going to put it this way, they were younger, faster, bigger, and not from the country. I could foresee a loss before our boys even hit the field. I told my girlfriends, "The only way that they are going to win is, if they run like they stole it." That got a little laugh. Hey, I can be funny sometimes. So yeah... we lost. Not too badly, but we lost. It was their first game, so I've got to give them a break. All I know is that, I've got complete Sunday afternoon entertainment until atleast December. By the way ladies, don't laugh at you're man's efforts to play sports. You must encourage them, or they will retreat back to the couch. Unless, your my husband that is. So, get out and throw the ball ya'll!

AM I STILL HERE?

I was reading my comments. Someone said that my Blog had been removed by a Blog Administrator. Is that true? Can they do that? What did I do? Why would they do that? Did someone complain? Did I offend someone? Am I too boaring? What happened?

EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS MAGIC (tm)

Yeah... I wish! Have you ever had, what's better known as "THE WEEK FROM H***!" Honestly, I've had much worse, but everything that I did, attempted to do, or touched this week just turned to s***. From: #1. Forgetting to pay a couple of bills. #2. Forgetting to run important errands. #3. Not keeping up with the house work. #4. Not getting the job I interviewed for. #5. My puppy broke my favorite ceramic planter. #6. Not agreeing with my Mother's view's on how to live my life. #7. I didn't get any child support this week. Now that's always a bonus! I have came to the conclusion that: #1. I'm having a Mid-Life Crises. #2. I'm legitmately loosing my mind. #3. I have PMS #4. My Anger Managment Medicine isn't working anymore. #5. It's, just the Season Change.

So, if any of you had a crappy week, you're not alone. You're in great company as a matter of fact. I've just got to figure out, as my husband put's it to "Pull my head out." Not very sympathetic huh? Oh he is, he just isn't the sort of person to dance around the truth. If you're loosing it, "You better figure out how to get it back." Again, it's been a terrible week, and I'm glad it's almost over. I'm just going to have to handle the rest of it with Kid Gloves. NOTE: You know that you're old if, you knew what song I meant in the title. I'll be back ya'll.

I'LL PEE MYSELF!

Last Friday evening, son #2 had a Middle School Band event. It was called A Ban-A-Thon. I'm relaying all of this to sons #1 and #3, as to why son #2 won't be home most of the evening. Son #3 says, "Band-A-Thong?" I say a...no? Then, #1 says yes, it's sponsored by Band Aid (tm) and Thongs. #3 ,Really? #1, No... stupid. #1, But.. I think that I'll wear mine when we go pick #2 up later. I say yeah...you do that. The twisted conversations that I have with Teenagers, and Tweenagers. I'll never understand that. I try to most of the time though.

Later that evening around 9:45 P.M, we all three leave to go pick up son #2, sons #1, #3, and I. As we drive to the Middle School, we have to pass the town Cemetery. Without saying anything to the other two boys, I noticed that the gates were still open. I thought to myself, "Wow that's strange, I thought that the gates were supposed to be closed at dusk?" It's a little bitty sort of a thing. Not too many people are burried there because, it is so small. In fact, the whole thing is one small U shape. Soon we manage to find son #2, then we all leave.

I'm telling the kids I'm as we drive home, "We're going to the Cemetery first."
"Are we really?" "No don't!" Yeah...whatever?" "Sure we are?" "Ok, let's go!" As we drive on, I can see one of the cemetery entrances. I go to pull in, then decided not to. After all, it is dark and it is raining. The boys convince me to go in, so I take the other entrance. We barely get through the gates when son #1 says "If anything jumps out at us, I sware I'll pee myself." In fear for our lives,I went drove through the cemetery pretty fast. It only took us about 2 minutes. Although, that was long enough for me.

As I go to make a left turn onto the main street, #1 grabs my arm from the passenger seat and yells "AAAHHH!" I scremed so loud, and nearly ran off of the road. Then, a furry of laughter errupted from the three boys. I say, "That was
not funny!" Yes it was, yes it was! "Ok, we're going home now!" We finally get to the interestion to turn back home, and I'll be damed if there wasn't a white hurse sitting waitng to go through the light on the other side. #1 says, "No way!" I say, yes it is, you're seeing what you think that yo're seeing. "What the heck?" I tell him that, "That's only only the freaky girl in town, who owns and drives the hurse, and who works at the vet."

Well by now, I have mad it an evenful evening. The kids have to go in and tell Dad the whole story. #1 says, "Dad, when's the last time you drove through a cemetery?" He gives #1 a funny look, then I have to expalin myself. He still thinks I'm a KooK, but he understands why I do things. It's to entertain the kids. Well, I need to go, be back soon!

THE WONDERFUL THING ABOUT TIGGER


The Tigger Song (tm)
The most wonderful thing about Tiggers,
is Tiggers are wonderful things.
Their tops are made out of rubber,
their bottoms are made out of springs.
They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!
But the most wonderful thing about Tigger is,
I'm the only one.
Oh, III'm the only one!

No... I have not been smoking anything funny today. I put that stuff down last week. Kidd...ing! You know that you were singing right along with me. Don't even try and lie about it. Anyway, there was a reason for this song. Isn't their always? In July, my wonderful husband decided that, we needed another baby. No, not a regular human baby, but another hairy, four legged baby. He said that, every time that I start talking about more children that, he brings another dog home. He has brought two home now, in about 18 months time. The last time was our delightful Bulldog with terrible Gastrointestinal problems, better known as gas.

Although, I swear to God that, I never said anything about more kids this last time. I'm in my middle 30's, what kind of crazy lady do you think that I am? Yeah, let's start over and have another baby, while I can faintly see 40 in the distance. Point being, he was just using "the baby excuse" to bring another puppy home. Did I tell you that, he's a Mail Man? So, he see's lots of homeless critters on his route. Enter, the new Boxer puppy that he named Tigger!

I didn't know much about Boxer dogs, but the name is very fitting. He is very springy, and bouncy. So, I've now had yet another job description added to my Stay-At-Home-Mom duties. I'm now called the PPPP, "Puppy Poop and Pee Police." As if I didn't have anything else to do. While everyone is gone during the day, my job was to simply clean up the puppy's pee and poop accidents. Inbetween, letting him out 15 to 20 times a day. My two older dogs loved that. Their like, "Mom...I just went 30 minutes ago, I don't have to go yet."

I must say though, I think that my PPPP duties are almost over. Tigger is about 5 and 1/2 months old now, and he rarely has an accident. Although, our # 2 son better known as the OPP, "Outside Poop Patrol" isn't very happy. Three dogs, which means three times the poop in our back yard. Oh, isn't life grand? "Ya'll" have a good day, and I'll talk to you soon.

THE BRIDAL SHOWER

This weekend I attended a Bridal Shower next door. I know, next door... no way getting out of that one. Anyway, it was for the soon to be daughter-in-law of the couple next door. They are really sweet kids. I call them kids, because anyone younger then me, is as kid. She is 23, and he is 21. This is so terrible, but I couldn't help but think that, this will never last. I hope that it does but, "come on now!" Honestly, let's be realistic! We are from Oklahoma, where the divorce rate is in the top five. That's because there isn't a damn thing to do here but fight, drink beer at the bar, or have an affair.

Ok, that was wrong. I shouldn't have dumped everyone into the same category. For example, my parents just celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary in July. You would think that I would have learned by example. After all, "I am" on marriage number two. This was my husband's second marriage as well. I have one son from the first marriage, and he has two son's from his first marriage. We have three children, because we don't want four. I know what you thinking. Oh yea, another blended family. Don't even get me started on that, or we'll be here all day.

Back to the bride to be. I thought the whole shower went really well. Not too much drama, great food, and nice gifts. The best thing about it was, I didn't even have to take my car, purse, keys, or cell phone. What a bonus! Again, I couldn't help but think, you better get some nice gifts this time Sister. You'll need that stuff to divide when you get a divorce. I still use some of the old 1992 cook ware from my first marriage. Hey, it was good cook ware, and still is. I'll be damed if he was going to let "Butt Face" take it with him. Are you with me? Even it was crap, I was going to make him cook with all of the old, crappy plastic ware. No... I am not bitter. I'm over it, I'm happily remarried, and it has been years since the divorce. That was just my attempt at being funny.

So... that's how my Saturday afternoon played out. I contemplated her divorce, and ate some awesome, authentic, home made mexican food that they served at the shower. Which I kindly topped off with, a piece of wonderful chocolate cake. A day in the life. Aren't you glad you're not me? I have got to get busy around here. Talk to you soon.

P.S. Thanks to the one polite person from Canada who left me my first comment. Me... interesting, who knew? Wait until you read my book! I serious about the book...