BOXERS OR BRIEFS
One day this week, I was sitting on my front porch. I was having my usual morning smoke, and drinking my coffee. I do this every school morning. I wait on the porch, and make sure that no one grabs my son, or the two girls from three doors down. I made this arrangement with their Mom over three years ago. She can go on to work, and I wait for the school bus to pick them all up. Not that "they" need me to anymore, they're much bigger now. I just mainly do it to protect my son. So what that he's 11, amlost 12! There are perverts all over, who don't discriminate. Anyway, everyday I'm dressed in my usual normal morning attire. My cotton gown, and my what once was, a Forrest Green, heavy Terry Cloth bath robe, that's like 16 years old. Pretty sexy huh? Shut up! I'm 35 years old, married and have three 1/2 grown sons. I'm not interested in being a Sex Kitten anymore. Anymore, who am I kidding? I just want to stay warm, and get a good nights sleep. So... get over yourself. Hey, atleast I have the common decency to cover all of my BIDNESS up.
So anyway, about a month ago, some new retirees moved in on the corner. I'm such a piece of crap neighbor that, I haven't even spoken to them yet. They seem pretty busy, and to themselves. So, that will be the excuse that I'm using. Well, I was sitting there, minding my own business when out of the side garage door pops Gramps. He was wearing a Wife Beater T- shirt, and some baggy Boxer underwear. I don't have to remind you that, when men get older, their great, muscular shoulders fall into the bellys. My Dad is 71, and looks pretty much looks the same. It's ok with me, I don't have to look at him without a shirt on. Ok... that was groos. You know, neighbor Gramps wasn't actually the first thing that I wanted to see that particular morning. I put my hand over my mouth, and made that almost vomit sound. You know, the HERP? Never-the-less, he was gone in an instant. Just outside long enough to put his trash in the dumpster. Just there long enough, for me too get a good look at OLD MAN MCBAGGY BRITCHES in almost all of his glory.
So, there's my story for the day. Reminding you to, cover up when you're out on the front porch and not properly dressed. Also, no one wants to see your BUTT CRACK, when you're bending over getting the newspaper out of the drive way either!
Put on a robe or something! For Heaven's Sake! Catch ya'll tomorrow!
One day this week, I was sitting on my front porch. I was having my usual morning smoke, and drinking my coffee. I do this every school morning. I wait on the porch, and make sure that no one grabs my son, or the two girls from three doors down. I made this arrangement with their Mom over three years ago. She can go on to work, and I wait for the school bus to pick them all up. Not that "they" need me to anymore, they're much bigger now. I just mainly do it to protect my son. So what that he's 11, amlost 12! There are perverts all over, who don't discriminate. Anyway, everyday I'm dressed in my usual normal morning attire. My cotton gown, and my what once was, a Forrest Green, heavy Terry Cloth bath robe, that's like 16 years old. Pretty sexy huh? Shut up! I'm 35 years old, married and have three 1/2 grown sons. I'm not interested in being a Sex Kitten anymore. Anymore, who am I kidding? I just want to stay warm, and get a good nights sleep. So... get over yourself. Hey, atleast I have the common decency to cover all of my BIDNESS up.
So anyway, about a month ago, some new retirees moved in on the corner. I'm such a piece of crap neighbor that, I haven't even spoken to them yet. They seem pretty busy, and to themselves. So, that will be the excuse that I'm using. Well, I was sitting there, minding my own business when out of the side garage door pops Gramps. He was wearing a Wife Beater T- shirt, and some baggy Boxer underwear. I don't have to remind you that, when men get older, their great, muscular shoulders fall into the bellys. My Dad is 71, and looks pretty much looks the same. It's ok with me, I don't have to look at him without a shirt on. Ok... that was groos. You know, neighbor Gramps wasn't actually the first thing that I wanted to see that particular morning. I put my hand over my mouth, and made that almost vomit sound. You know, the HERP? Never-the-less, he was gone in an instant. Just outside long enough to put his trash in the dumpster. Just there long enough, for me too get a good look at OLD MAN MCBAGGY BRITCHES in almost all of his glory.
So, there's my story for the day. Reminding you to, cover up when you're out on the front porch and not properly dressed. Also, no one wants to see your BUTT CRACK, when you're bending over getting the newspaper out of the drive way either!
Put on a robe or something! For Heaven's Sake! Catch ya'll tomorrow!
posted by Beth Schofield | 8:50 AM
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